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MESSAGE FROM OUTER SPACE

ALIENS CONTACT NASA: "QUIT SENDING US YOUR STUPID JUNK"
 
 WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) - History was changed forever yesterday when
 NASA received a transmission from an alien species.  The brief
 message, addressed to "abuse@NASA.gov," read simply:
 
   Humans --
 
   Please discontinue sending stupid unsolicited transmissions
   and debris to us.  We have received several metallic craft
   bearing objects, crude drawings, and disks which play noises
   when scratched with crystal-tipped needles.  We don't know
   who "Bach" is, but tell him for us that he should consider
   another profession.  Honestly, we receive thousands of
   unsolicited transmissions and craft from societies such as
   yourself to the point where they become a great nuisance,
   so discontinue this practice immediately or we will be forced
   to report you to your information provider or, more simply,
   blow up your stupid planet and all your stupid life-forms.
   Send your junk to the Gezor -- they have all the class and
   intelligence of stewed clazin.
 
   Regards,
   Elinzoa Glppaducc
   Information Processing Coordinator
   The Shati-Makal
 
 NASA immediately cancelled plans to send up a time capsule
 containing a CD of the Ricky Martin hit, "Livin' La Vida Loca",
 and a VHS copy of "Friends."


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